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August 2007
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Season 1 Sydney's Aliases

Employee of Modear Plastics Company (1x1)
Amy Tippin a.k.a. Red-haired Syd (1x1)
Hotel maid (1x2)
Blue Rubber Dress (1x2)
Muslim woman (1x2)
Spanish fundraiser attendee (1x2)
Kate Jones, tourist (1x4)
Girl at party (1x4)
German corporate employee (1x5)
Dixon’s French girlfriend (1x6)
Miss Dicamila (asylum patient) (1x6)
Molly Zertan, Marissa Foundation scout (1x8)
Drunk party girl (1x9)
Christiana Stevens, Dreiberg Diamonds rep (1x9)
Victoria King, spoiled rich girl (1x10)
Club girl who gets licked by Sakulos (1x11)
Casino cocktail waitress (1x14)
Blonde Swedish girl (1x15)
Italian maintenance worker (1x16)
Bad wig Syd in get-away car (1x17)
Masquerade ball guest (1x18)
Tired American hiker in Russia (1x18)
French insurance agent (1x20)
Raslak Jihad member (1x20)
French chanteuse (1x21)
Blue-haired Syd at club (1x22)

Doing Her Own Stunts On the Catwalk at Joey's Pizza:

Retired to the Goodwill Store:
Sydney Bristow slipped into the wardrobe room at SD-6, going through the dresses until she finally found the one she was looking for. The damn blue rubber dress. She knew it had been Arvin's idea. The slimy bastard could wear it himself, let him try to move in it. Taking a pair of scissors, she carefully cut the dress up. Then she deposited the handful of blue rubber bands in the SD-6 supply cabinet.
01. Blue rubber dress - death by Syd's scissors.

Masquerade ball guest -- Sydney rumanged through her Sd-6 chest and found the dress she wore when she and Noah reunited. She thought about how gross Noah acted (and his gross teeth), and thought about how slutty she acted and how easily she gave into Bucky. The dress made her feel sick. She burned it, and then made up an excuse to go ring up Vaughn for some quality warehouse time.
02. Masquerade dress - death by burning.

Sydney Bristow didn’t understand what was happening. She was given the intel and OpTech for her next mission, she’d boarded a flight to New York City… everything according to plan.
Once she’d landed in New York, she’d donned the gold lame outfit (God, that one AGAIN!?) and awaited the rendez-vous with her contact. But then the strangest thing happened. Her contact, who was a very well dressed man, came up to her and said, “I am concerned. You will be very late for the show. Santino is already frantic. Get into this cab and head to Parson’s IMMEDIATELY.”
Assuming this was the location of the expected dead drop, Sydney got into the cab, and directed the driver to the Parson’s School of Design.
“Just make it work,” the dapper man yelled as the taxi pulled away.
The next thing she knew, she was shepherded onto a runway, like some sort of model. This was clearly not the dead drop location. Something was horribly wrong. But was this a K-Directorate trap? Sydney couldn’t be sure, although this man “Santino” certainly looked nefarious enough.
After the runway show, Sydney kept her mouth shut, although standing in front of the “Underwhelmed” Michael Kors and cross Nina Garcia was some of the worst torture she had ever experienced.
“Santino,” said Kors, “This is over the top, even for you. You need to think about a woman’s body. This is just not flattering.”
“But Michael, this isn’t even my outfit,” Santino proclaimed. “This isn’t my model; I’ve never even seen her before!”
“Santino, you must learn to take the blame for your failures. You are out. Auf Wiedersehen.”
The next thing Sydney knew, some production assistant was pulling the ugly outfit from her body. Sydney thought about fighting her off, but the outfit really WAS ugly. If the production assistant wanted it… The next thing she knew, it was on a mannequin along a wall with some other really ugly garments. It fit right in.
Eager to leave, Sydney put on a black slip that she found lying around and slunk out of the building. That was the strangest mission ever.
03. Girl at party - death by Heidi Klum’s "Auf Wiedersehen".

Sydney Bristow, spy, was in her get away car. She was being chased by the fashion police. They caught a glimpse of the hideous powder blue track suit and went after her. Of all of the cool getups she had worn, this had to be the lamest ever. She stepped on the gas and blew through a huge mud puddle, completely covering her windshield. She tried the wipers, but they did nothing but smear and not clean. She quickly jumped out of the car, whipped off her wig and wiped the windshield clean. It worked great. Then she had another idea. She ripped off her hideous track suit and, wearing nothing but her bra and panties, buried the wig and the track suit in the mud. The fashion police stopped, and nodding their heads in approval, tossed her a black turtleneck and jeans. She put them on, waved to the fashion police and drove away, a happy smile on her face.
04. Bad-wig Syd in getaway car - death by being buried in mud.

Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn decided to go to a concert. A Grateful Dead concert. Sydney had just the right outfit from a previous undercover assignment. She braided her hair, put on her knit head scarf and matching sweater and finally, slid on the round glasses. During the concert, a crazed Dead Head saw her clothes and wanted them for herself. The crazed woman ripped the clothes off her, grabbed the glasses and ran away. Vaughn, so gallant, wrapped his jacket around her.
"That was weird. I'll never get another outfit like that again," Syd said. "That's okay. I never really liked the bohemian hippy look anyway. We'll get you something better. Let's go shopping," Vaughn said. So they headed off to Rodeo Drive.
05. Kate Jones, tourist - death by Grateful Dead concert.

"He licked my face... You don't understand, he LICKED my FACE." Though Sydney Bristow was talking to her handler at the time, her father's super sensitive Sydney Sense picked up that his little girl was humiliated. Since Project Christmas had left her impervious to being beaten in any battle, gave her the super human condition to never be brainwashed, and several other unnamed until they are convenient to use powers, Jack knew that it was the outfit's fault that his sweet daughter was violated by being licked. Never one to let something go, Jack visited Syd's closet at SD-6 and covered his eyes when he saw some of the things she has wore on various missions. When he found the offending outfit, he took it to the conversation room and put a blow torch to it.
06. Club girl licked by Sakulos - death by Spydaddy via blowtorch.

Sydney and Noah hiked through the woods outside Arkangelsk, posing as American tourists to sneak into a secret Russian facility. "Isn't it lovely out here?" Noah asked, spit flying with every syllable.

"Can't you talk without dripping all over me?" Sydney asked.

"What are you talking about?" Noah asked. More saliva spurted out of his mouth.

"It's like a freakin' lawn sprinkler!" Sydney shouted. She grabbed the only thing she had that could serve as a spit shield - the disguise she wearing - and held it between her body and Noah's mouth. The clothes weren't all that great, anyway, and the Russians they were hoping would capture them could give her some new clothes at their base. Then she could burn the spit shield properly.
07. Tired American hiker in Russia - death by use as spitshield.

Sydney Bristow, superspy, was working undercover as a hotel maid in a swanky hotel in Brussels. Standing outside of the hotel room she needed to break into, she looked first one way and then the other. The coast was clear. She pulled out her lock pick set and was about to pick the lock when Donald Trump stuck his head out of his room and said, "Excuse me, miss. We need some more towels."

"I'm sorry, but I can't..." Sydney started.

"What do you mean you can't. Aren't you a maid?" The Donald asked.

"Well, yes, I..." she stammered.

"Then you can get me some towels," The Donald said matter-of-factly.

"It's just that I need...."

"I don't care what you need. GET ME SOME TOWELS! Melina needs towels NOW! Or so help me, I'll see to it that YOU'RE FIRED!" he bellowed. "And get me some of those little shampoos while your at it," he added.

"Yes sir. I'll get them right away." Sydney hurried off, found a cart and got a stack of towels and a handful of little shampoos. She returned to The Donald's room and gently knocked on the door. When The Donald answered, she demurely curtsied, handed him the towels and shampoos. "Now was that so hard?" he said. Then he slammed the door.

Sydney was then able to complete her mission. She changed her clothes and as she threw the clothes down the hotel's laundry chute, she thought to herself, "Man, maids sure don't get paid enough."
08. Hotel maid - death by laundry chute.

All she needed to do was to get a little closer to Professor Bloom, then she would have the information off his card key so she could break into the artifacts room and take the Rambaldi artifact. Across the room, Sydney Bristow saw her nemesis, Ana Espinosa. She too was there to steal the artifact. It's a small spy world. As Sydney was schmoozing with Professor Bloom, a man came up to Sydney and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, Miss Ringwald," the man said. "I'm such a fan and I loved you in The Breakfast Club. Can I have your autograph?"

"I'm sorry," Sydney said in a fairly lame British accent. "You must have me confused with someone else."

"No, no. I heard someone call you Molly," the man insisted. I would recognize that red hair anywhere, although it is a little straighter than it used to be. I like it."

Sydney realized that Professor Bloom had moved away and that if she didn't act quickly, she would lose her chance to get the information she needed.

"Yes, of course you are right," she whispered conspiratorially to the man. "I just like to travel incognito, if you know what I mean."

"Of course," the man smiled and winked. Sydney gave him a Molly Ringwald autograph and moved away.

She was able to get the information she needed and steal the Rambaldi device before Ana Espinosa did. The mission was a success.

When Sydney went to change her clothes, she said to herself, "Molly Ringwald. Ha! I'm never going to wear THAT alias again."
09. Molly Zertan, Marissa Foundation scout - death by Molly Ringwald.